A Rejection as an Affirmation
19 November 2008
For everyone that reads this site, I assume three things about you automatically.
- You are fluent in English.
- You are interested in Asian (culture, language, food, girls, et al.)
- You have quality problems, like not having enough dates, or being iffy on whether to move to Japan or not.
I know this because I see my searches mostly come from google (in English), use the words “Asian” or “Japanese” in half the searches, as well as “attraction” or “pua” in the other half. I’m not judging you, because I’m the same way.
So let’s talk about something important - why why why why why why WHY do people keep asking me about my interest in Asian culture!?
I’ve covered it before in posts about why liking Asian girls is perfectly normal, how to own your desire no matter what, eliminating the social totem pole, and how liking Asian girls helps you learn Japanese. But no matter how much I’ve talk about it before, I’ve never gotten to what it actually is.
What’s the difference between living in London and living in Tokyo really? Why can’t people seem to believe that you’d want to learn what a Chinese character actually means than just seeing it as cool decor in a restaurant? Most of all, why does it even matter to people?
Simply, to many people, it’s their entire world.
“Why would you want to move to Toe-key-oh?”
If you’re like me, you’re faced with an ongoing problem, or an ongoing annoyance of being asked how you could bear eating sushi, why you are studying Japanese, and why you only date Asian girls. “Isn’t that racist?” the jealous white girls inquires, “And like, doesn’t that mean you have a fetish or something?”
I rebut, “But isn’t dating outside my race make me less racist? It’s bringing the world together, right?”
“No no. It’s just creepy. My friend Janet hates it white guys hit on her because she’s Asian.”
What she doesn’t tell you is that her Asian friend Janet is dating a white guy who hit on her for that very reason. He’s in the same boat as you are, but might not be as committed to learning a new culture, nor as interested as you are.
That’s cool too, I’m sure Janet and him make a great couple! But what if you don’t want to settle down and just dabble in a culture, or in a couple of whitewashed Asian chicks? What if your passion runs deeper, that maybe, just maybe, you might want to see what it’s like to live there?
“That’s crazy. You can’t do that!” is the knee-jerk response. Your peers can’t imagine a world without American Football or new episodes of “Lost.” Your family throws their arms up in shock, starts talking about how it’s “impossible to learn Japanese” and that “it’s dangerous being out there!” as if the safest country in the world is out to get just you. Your friends don’t understand you either, and don’t see why’d you want to leave everything you have here behind?
Why does it seem like you’re dying everything you mention following your dream and living in another country?
It’s actually the same reason that you’ve never heard of Natsume Soseki.
“It’s too complicated.”
Growing up, I had the amazing opportunity to travel internationally everyday in my small New England hometown. With awesome parents that taught be to appreciate people based on their character, not their color, my two best friends were an Indian kid and a half-Korean, half-Puerto Rican kid I met in Kindergarten and 1st grade. Without knowing it, I cut myself off from prejudice before it could settle in the stagnant mind caught in a homogeneous community.
Nearly every weekday, I would go to my Indian friend’s house and play video games, eat fresh puri, and talk about what we’d do if we had a plane that could take us around the world. Nearly every weekend, I would go to my Korean-Puerto Rican friend’s house and play soccer, wrestle, and watch the Simpsons while eating grilled cheese Jalapeño sandwiches. Once in a great while, there would be a question about skin, religion, or food, but it could be answered in a sentence or less without little question.
What was weird was that going to school forced me to think far far far more limited than I was used to. We only learned about Britain, France, and Germany in history class. We only saw white faces in the educational movies about inertia, geometry, and gases (begging for trouble). We only read works made in America or Britain, and never read about places elsewhere besides those two places. Worst of all, when one of us would ask about India, Korea, or Puerto Rico, our questions were shrugged off as “too complicated for the rest of the class.”
Everything was kept to focused on Europe, learning a bunch of facts about dead white guys.
After a while, and some cruel harassment by anonymous people towards my friends and I, we started to notice that there was a difference between us. We knew we didn’t look alike, and only I looked the people in the textbooks, on the money, and on TV. Why was that?
Dead White Guys
My teachers never told me (until college) that what I was living in was an English speaking, Anglo-Saxon, Euro-centric culture. My whole world, besides the the glimpses I saw through my friends and Kung Fu action films, was flooded with images of white people, white values, and white beliefs, and white ideals.
Then my professor snatched those rose tinted glasses from my face and smashed them near my feet.
For better or worse, Western education, media, and culture was based on the tradition of the conquering Brits. Puritan values were taught through bland “classics based” education, television constantly remade the epics of the Greeks and Romans, and Christmas, a transformed pagan winter solstice festival, was the main holiday.
Even today, as I live in a predominantly black city in America, these images still flood every person the same way they did in New England. Every advertisement has a jacked white male or a tall blond as the aesthetic ideal. Every history book covered American / European history from the vantage point of the colonialist victors or exoticizes the East in an oriental mist. And with the exception of Hip Hop and a handful of actors, the radio and television is exclusively of white people talking about white problems through white genres.
Furthermore, up until very very very recently, the modern image of America, in the form of a president, was restricted to that of dead and very old white men. Thankfully, change has come to America.
Binary Opposition
But enough of the heavy criticism of the America I love in spite of its flaws. More importantly, why do people care if you want to move to Japan?
To many people, you’re rejecting everything they value in one sweeping gesture.
Our minds seek to label and simplify everything as much as possible. It’s not that another choice is wrong, is just that the common path is takes less energy and evolutionarily sound. Imagine how much time it would take to in a day if you had to process whether you like your coffee with cream, sugar, both, or neither. Or for your ancestors, to hunt in the way that works or in a new way. Simply, it’s a waste.
Culture, usually in the form of religion or “popular opinion” in the form of strong beliefs, provides us with these options. For my early human ancestors, those not marked with the tribes’ symbols were dangerous and were fought against.; not us = enemy. For my European ancestors, all those who were not Christian, nor “white” were savages that must be remedied through massacre or converted; not white= heathen. For my modern peers, all that is not “on their radar” is mocked and questioned; not known = weird.
In fact, these all follow a simple pattern. Since quickest way to cut down time is to give only two options - a pair of opposites - society forms to make those pairs and face them against each other. In other words, make them intrinsically contradictory. Based on the ideas of Claude Levi-Strauss, the survival and well-being of a society is based on it’s ability to discern a complicated world into simple concepts. The easiest of these are divided into two parts, binary opposites- such as the sacred vs. the profane, male vs. female, married vs. unmarried, and us vs. them.
So, to many people, the idea of an unknown, foreign culture must mean that you are rejecting your own culture. In other words, if you like Samurai films, you must not like Top Gun. If you like eating with chopsticks, you must not like eating with forks and knives. If you like Asian girls, you must not like white girls, and therefore must hate your own race.
ありがとうございます！
But this is すばらしい！ This is awesome!
In fact, you should thank everyone who questions your interest in Asian culture/language/food/girls/et al. from now on. It’s a gift you’ve been given to break the pattern that colonialist orientialism has left behind, and a chance for your to become a cultural ambassador. You have the chance to share with people another world, another way of thinking, or at least share some fun facts about panty vending machines.
Think about it like this. The next time someone asks you about Japan, or why you like, or for what purpose on “God’s green earth you would do over there?” remind them that it’s a first world country that has given us such great and wild things as Nintendo, MXC, or Takeru Kobayashi. If they’re still scared, let them know that they have had baseball since the late 1800s, watch American movies, and love their beer.
You have the chance to share your passion, which is the coolest thing of all. If anything, your enthusiasm will override any doubts they have about Japan, about becoming a foreigner, or anything else. You have a chance to change the world in a little way, so you should absolutely do it!
If you’re like me, and not a victim of “My Japan Syndrome,” you know that America has things that are awesome about it, and lots of stuff that you will miss. For me, I will surely miss my family and my friends, as well as large portions of food, an abundance of gyms, a literal diversity of people, action movies, and probably a hundred other things.
Finally, understand that you just like Japan a little bit more. There’s nothing wrong in that either. In fact, you’re the guy to talk about Japan. Don’t try to be an expert, nor condescending, nor a geek in any way, but just let people know that it’s not so different, that you can go there and live perfectly fine, and, most of all, Japan and the US are friends now.
六十くらい日だけ残る・ 60 Some Odd Days
8 November 2008
“In any given moment, a man’s growth is optimized if he leans just beyond his edge, his capacity, his fear. He should not be lazy, stagnating in the zone of of security and comfort. Nor should be push far beyond his edge, stressing himself unnecessarily… He should lean just slightly beyond the edge of fear and discomfort. Constantly. In everything he does.”
-David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
I have less than two months until I return to Japan for good. Those are two months that I can use in a million different ways, and that will bring me to a million different places in life. Everything I do in the next 1400 some odd hours will change my life drastically when I’m back in Japan. Or not.
The universe offers me the infinite, but practicality offers me three simple choices. Comfort, panic, or leaning into my purpose.
The first, is to enjoy my last two months in America with the vision of a late Roman hedonist - drinking wine and being fed grapes by beautiful women. I have hours upon hours to sleep, relax, and enjoy my final semester as an American college student. I have enough money to go to bars and clubs for every weekend for the remainder, and more than enough to get delightfully smashed each time. I can pour my effort into looking for the easiest fuck, finding the girl who’s more than willing, tell her I have “a bottle of vodka in my room,” and be done with it.
Hell - I could skip going out entirely, and simply lean back, watch subbed anime all day and fantasize about my future in the land of robots and giggly schoolgirls. “Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagan’s looking pretty good today.” “Oooooh, free AV videos online? I think I will…” “*sighs* I can’t wait to be in Japan … everything will be different then…I’ll have 14 girlfriends, work 1 hour a day, and have no worries. Yeah…” How nice.
But, I won’t. It asks me to be a fluffy, weak, and shallow being. It lets me be the fat kid whose Mom pulls him out of gym class because it’s “too embarrassing.” It lets me coddle lifestyle into a happy bubble of aversion and selfish apathy. Worst, it dances around my purpose of going to Japan, and seduces me with blonde hair and fresh beer. A lesser man would fall in the cycle and forget he was a man in the process.
The second, is to enjoy my last two months in America with the burden of great expectations on my shoulders - my mind to Atlas’ daily turmoil. The stress of knowing that I will leave everything I know and love in America behind, and the fear that Japan might be not what I expect, but in fact something I may not be able to handle nor enjoy looms over my head. “Why am I doing this? Why can’t I just be like all the other people and just live near my hometown the rest of my life and settle down? I have to make a plan! I have to know what I’m doing!!”
In the fear of the unknown, I could plan and work my life out via an Excell spreadsheet. Learn Japanese 2 hours a day, read 3 books about the culture before I leave, learn to eat sushi properly, and read up about the pop songs the cutest J-Girls like. “Yeah, and if I live in Hiroshima, I’ll be free of both earthquakes and problems, and be able to pickup girls at…lemme see…google ‘clubs in Hiroshima.” Oh! And best of all, once I get this all done, I can finally relax and be happy.
But, I won’t. It asks me to prepare for my life like an actor preparing for a role. It asks me to succumb all my desires now for what I want later, as if life will be fundamentally different if I never make the mistake of sticking my chopsticks in my rice or saying 僕 at the wrong time. This isn’t The Last Samurai, and I’m not Tom Cruise. A crash course in Zen Buddhism or rewatching Lost in Translation will not bring me closer to the life I’m already missing.
The final choice is the succumb to my purpose, accept my fears, and live through them regardless. Neither a synthesis nor denial of the previous two, my final option is to dig deeper into the utter acceptance of my desire to risk my comfortable American home to live across the world. It asks me put my utmost effort in everything I do, constantly working towards the purpose, even if it proves to be waste of years of my life in the long run. Living in truth requires me never to dilute, no matter how bitter it may be.
For many, their purpose in life remains hidden or unknown; for me, my purpose, has arisen and made itself clear. I’ve tried to rationalize it, avoid it, and outright deny it, but all it did was drive me to beaten path of mediocrity. The risk I took earlier this year, to pack my bags and head to the land of the Rising Sun, and my ashamed desire rose relentlessly like dawn. Now, in this moment, and for the next 21,600 some odd minutes is to live purposefully and boldly.
This does not mean I am not afraid. I am afraid of the transition to working. I am afraid of STDs and unwanted pregnancies. I am afraid that Japan won’t be what I want it to be. I am afraid that I may never be able to achieve my dream. I am afraid that my life, and all the work I put into it, could instantly end in a freak accident of a cataclysmic earthquake. In spite of all these things, I acknowledge my fear, feel it, and push forward into moving into Japan regardless.
This does not mean I am not living my life now either. Even if I am leaving for a new country, a new world in the matter of a few weeks, I still remain in America now and full of a life of responsibilities and choices. Everyday, I have to wake up, eat, and go to class. Every day, I meet new people, new girls, and start new relationships. I live my life not out of a sense of obligation, but willingly and celebratory. Whether I like it not, Time stops for no man.
What this does mean is that right now is time for me to push just beyond exhaustion, just beyond discomfort and fear, and do the last reps that bring me that much closer to the next challenge. Life always beckons you to do more, and only those who deserve the best in life are willing to push through whatever costs to get what they want. Life beckons me to cower under the fear the unknown, rejection, and my own unpredictable demise. And, life beckons me to give myself fully to what I need to do right now in unraveling my purpose to the world in spite of everything else.
For me, life requires an unwavering commitment to learning and mastering Japanese. I have the method. I have the tools. I have all the material I’d ever need and then some. Now it’s time to dissolve into my purpose for the 1,296,000 some odd seconds that remain, and throughout. But who’s counting?
“The brick walls are not there to keep us out; the brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something.”
-Randy Pausch
FR: Hesitation Leads to Masturbation
26 October 2008
Last night was mediocre. As I’m still in the States, I’ve been somewhat mopey and ambivalent about going out and partying versus staying inside and studying Japanese. My goal is to get as fluent as possible before going to Japan, mostly for the sake of meeting new people, so going out, although not harmful, sometimes feels like a waste.
After spending the day “studying Japanese” with my three Japanese friends, we all decided to “get the stink off of us” and head out to a party. My friends are all ESL students at a nearby college, and are more than willing to “go an meet some cute American girls.” It’s not my thing per se, but I’m willing to go for the ride.
Figuring it was a Saturday night, we called several of our friends to see what was going on. Since the weather was on and off heavy rain, with massive winds, the World Series was on, and my Japanese friends were just barely under 21, the few options we had were either canceled for the night, or that we simply couldn’t get into. Finally, my friend Yoko bumped into to us and invited us to a party at her friend’s place.
Yoko is a cute girl, but nothing I’m too interested in. She’s very nice, petite, and a great conversation partner, and makes a great friend. Still, there was no spark, or no attraction on my end, so I let it be. My other friends talked with her as well, and I think came to the same conclusion. Cute, but not down.
Finally, we go to the party and met Yoko’s friend, Maria, a very genki black girl whose Japanese was quite stellar. She was real warm, really willing to talk to all of us, and stoked that all of us guys were there too. Of course, when she mentioned that the party was a “dance party,” my mind leaped to a fretful party last year that was full of self-degrading hipsters. I instantly went into “yuck” mode and decided to speak Japanese all night.
When we arrived at the party, it sure was full of artistic types - people who worked in film, libraries, the arts, and some who just did social services. Everyone was a little older than myself (around 25ish), and seemed to have their shit together. Still, there was a certain air of hesitation between people that I immediately blew off as “pretentiousness.” I was wrong.
Eventually, I had a couple drinks and ended up talking to just my Japanese friends in Japanese. We made a little “chode bubble” and talked about the music (which was really good － 「いい音楽」), the beer (which was bad 「まずい」), and how the party was different than what I was used to (このパーテイーはメッチャ違う). All in all, it was very otaku of me, and turned some heads. Since starting pickup, I have a good pose, a strong voice, and a good fashion sense, and definitely broke the mold of a “typical otaku.”
Regardless, I didn’t approach.
After a while, the lot of us started dancing. A cute Chinese American girl kept on giving me a “come here” eye that was definitively a conversation invitation. Still, since I was about an hour deep in choding around, I ignored it entirely and bombed into introversion, looking for excuses to be unhappy. I even overheard her friend say “Why don’t you just tap him on the shoulder and asks why he speaks Japanese?” and still didn’t do anything. Strike 1.
Eventually, I grabbed Maria and Yoko and started “letting loose.” Yoko was terrified of dancing, but we forced her to do so regardless. I met Maria’s friend Laura there, a cute half Chinese girl, who introduced herself on the dancefloor to me. She was very very keen, but in my “yuckiness,” I accidentally dismissed her and went back to dancing. Strike 2.
Finally, me and one of the Japanese guys went to get もうおっぱい (A slip of the tongue that means “More tits” instead of “another around” (もういっぱい)) and talked with Maria outside. Together, we were talking about how Japan was cool, and how we can’t wait to go back, when a really cool dude came up to us and asked us about speaking Japanese. He was fluent in Hunan dialect, but had no interest in Chinese girls. I was utterly confused at why he was there, but he swore it was “for the experience, not the girls.”
About halfway through the conversation, two top heavy Filipino girls come storming in, look right at me, smiling and say “Where’s the beer?” It’s a cake opener that just needs to some simple stacking, but both me and my Japanese friend choded up and jumped on it like a hungry dog after a steak. Their expressions went immediately to frowns, and just as quickly as they came in, they left. Strike 3.
I was out for the night. Nothing more for Emergency.
After that last whiff, I was in a total “where are my friends at” mode - mega slouchy. I found the guys, Yoko, Maria, and Laura, danced some more, and said that we should “head back.” Everyone agreed, and we all headed back as fast as you can from a house party - in about 30 minutes. In that time, I talked to Laura, who was slightly bitter at my earlier faux pax and tried to brush me off, and then, I knew, that it was time to hit the reset button.
We headed home, talked in Japanese, and I learned some valuable words from some new friends.
Five Things I Did Well
- 日本語うまい！ I really busted ass and spoke as much Japanese as I could at the time. Thanks to the immersion program I’ve setup (AllJapaneseAllTheTime.com) and the help of my friends, I can have fun and coherent conversations in All Japanese. It’s awesome.
- Took Huge Risks - The guys I went out with, the girl we bumped into, and the entire night was banking on taking risks. I hadn’t gone out to many parties with these guys before, nor had I hung out with Yoko much at all, and everything turned out alright.
- Danced - Dancing is vastly underrated by pickup and most of American society. I was able to let lose and dance without looking like a Physics teacher who had three beers, nor like an okama. I also vibed with other people’s dancing and learned a great deal on trusting your body.
- Was Open to People - Often, especially when I’m slouching about, I completely shut down to what’s going on around me. Last night, I had done so to a small degree, but snapped out of it and vibed with lots of cool people.
- Lead - Manging groups of people is one of the best qualities of an Alpha male. Last night, I was able to move everyone where we wanted to go, help others have fun, and be the one in charge. Everyone appreciated it, and in the end of the night, I was thanked with some ramen.
Five Things I Will Improve on Next Time
- Being a “Yes” - This means to be affriming of whatever is going on around me, and to never shut of. Arriving at the party, I had assumed that it would be a bad hipster party and that it was going to be and, all in all, it was all in my head. In fact, this assumption cut me off from meeting lots of very cute girls, helping my friends meet some American girls, and simply having more fun.
- Hesitation - Not opening sets right away is still something I need to break. I like to have a couple drinks and go into the party, but it’s like putting the horse before the carriage. From now on, no matter how silly it is, I’m starting off the night with “Hey, where can I get a drink? Cool. High five!” Who cares after that.
- Posture - My nemesis. I’m about 6′ 1/2″ tall (closer to 6′1″ with my hair) and I have lots of friends who are shorter than me. So, naturally, I let gravity take over, slouch down, and get in people’s faces. It’s no for me, and gives people the wrong impression of me. Worst, it affects your mood and makes your more introverted and self-sabotaging…but more on that later.
- Smiling - Like in my last field report, I found the perks of smiling to be huge. Still, I went in as a “no” and my body followed. I’m going back to Biden mode and smiling all the time.
- No Hunting Allowed - One of the things that really clicked was that, when you’re in a yucky, slouchy mood, you immediately want to go out and “get” something - “get some chicks,” “get drunk,” “get my dick wet,” “get into a fight”. We all know what it looks like and what comes of it (nothing), so why do we bother. From now on, if I catch myself being a “predator” I’m going to snap out of it and find something else to focus on, like “how can I make this fun?”
FR: College Game is Easy
3 October 2008
America: Land of the Free
And you know what, it’s just easy out here. Too easy. It should be…
America: Land of the Easy
I’ve been taking a couple nights off a week to game small parties and frats with my old wing for old times sake. All Japanese All The Time is really fun and all, but, it’s important to take breaks from the work. When you’re chilling and got a couple minutes to kill in your room, do some Japanese, get some sentences, and get it done. Thursday, Friday night - you have to go out.
So tonight, my wing and I hit up an old fraternity on our campus. About a year ago this time, I was hitting up parties with Hipsters, scraping for conversation, and feeling bad on everything. After experiencing Japan, gaining a sense of purpose, and being at home wherever I am, I felt powerful - I was rockstar and smiling like Joe Biden.
The night started off with watching the VP Debate, some homework, and bumping into a very cute J-girl at my dorm. In the computer lab, I was printing up some Kanji homeworking and talking it up with a Chinese exchange student.
“Ohh~ Are you studying Chinese?” She asked enthusiastically.
“Ah, not now. I’m actually studying Japanese.”
As I said that, this 5′-something girl does a 180, checks me out from head to toe, and pretends like nothing happened. I return the favor, and she was quite cute actually. Plus, I wasn’t born yesterday, so I knew that this was a cake opportunity.
I turn around to her and asked-
Emergency: すみません. 日本人ですね？ {Excuse me. Are you Japanese?}
J-Girl: うん。 {Yep}
Emergency: いいじゃん。 それで、私の宿題を教えていただきませんか？ {Nice. So then, would you do me the honor of helping me with my homework?}.
J-Girl: うん、 もちろん。 {Yeah, of course.}
Now, my homework was done for the most part, so this was just filled to go through the regular J-Girl screening questions: where are you from, what do you study, and why do you speak Japanese? I flew threw them as usual, and asked her the same things in my English Teacher voice.
Emergency: So, if you’re from Fukuoka, then why do you want to speak English?
J-Girl: うん～ I want to be person who works on pranes. So, I have to speak English. 
Emergency: Cool. いい仕事だよ。 {That’s a good job.}
We blabbed a little bit more, and walked towards the elevator. If I hadn’t been en route to my campus across the city, I’m sure I could have dragged it out 100x times longer - she was eating it up. Anyways, I invited her to the party I was going to (knowing it was Thursday and she’s say no), but she enthusiastically said the wanted to go another time. Cool.
As she headed to her room, I realized that she was much hotter than I first though. Not only was she cute, short, and had the Japanese accent that’s my kyrptonite, but she was also in this short skirt, wearing Shibuya style stockings, high heels, and was all done up. This girl was money.
On that high night I headed to my school’s campus, and hit up an old frat with my wing. I used to knock frats, but after tonight, I see their worth.
At the door, a got a couple cold looks from the brothers, a few checkouts from some of the girls, and some instant social proof from someone I talked to a few months back. Boom - social proof, and at a party that was mostly girls, I was in with my overly smooth wing.
In the door, my wing runs into three girls he hooked up with in the past year. One steals his cup, another say “Hi”, and another tells him to fuck off. We roll with it, get introduced to several chicks, and go to the next set.
Whoever’s close to me is someone I talk to. I mean whoever. I don’t care if it’s the swamp thing or a beauty queen. When, I turn my shoulder, start talking. As it happened, it was this very bored girl. First thing that came to mind was to ask a simple question. “Hey, where’s the keg?”
Who needs a complex opener when you can just go with what’s there?
What happened? Instant open. “Oh its upstairs. Oh my God! What’s that rock on your neck? Where are from? Blah blah blah” The girl was super keen, jumped through the hoops and was, literally, begging for my attention. So, as the cool guy I am, I flirted with her, and went away on a high.
Nice.
After that, it was super on. My wing was in a good mood in spite of everything, I was feeling good, so opening sets - *ahem* - talking to people, was cake. “Hey, what’s up.” Was a good enough opener. Smiling was enough to be opened.
In fact, all this same stuff got me an instant makeout last week.
I had a couple beers, was couple sets in, and ran into this cute blonde. She was cold and distant, as most are, and I just went up with fun.
Emergency: “You know, you should be taller.”
Cute Blonde:”What?” She said to me.
Emergency: “If you want a beer hun, you gotta get those arms in. That, or you have to flirt with that gut there to get some beer.”
Cute Blonde: “Oh yeah?”
Emergency: “I got money on that you can’t do it. In fact, I know you’re not tuff enough.”
Cute Blonde: “You think that?”
Emergency: “Yup. I triple doggy dare you to, in fact.”
Her face lit up. It was like a was offering her a job working for TRL in 1997. She ran over the keg, started flirting with the guy running the tap, and came back to show me the beer. I joked with her, intentionally negged her (which was totally unnecesarry) and started some mini-drama. She stormed of, so I turned to the next girl to me - a cute southeast Asian chick
Emergency: “I don’t get girls.”
Southeast Asian Chick: Full 180 Turn, Doggie Dinner Bowl Eyes “Yeah, me either.”
I didn’t remember it being that easy, but I guess it was. We left, headed to another party, and then I headed home. Tests in the am, and the gym in the pm. Now, it’s nearly 10, and it’s time to do it again.
Five Things I Did Well
- Social Proof - Being the cool guy is as easy as talking to everyone. Whether or not you “want to” when you first get there, it gets you into a good mood, gets you grooving, and having fun. Soon enough, you’re getting checked out by more chicks and getting opened. It’s the boy band theory in action. “If other girls like him, he must be good.”
- Worked With My Wing - I used to complain about white chicks and how I wasn’t into them. This night, I realized that it’s not that I’m not attracted to white girls, it’s simply not to the same degree as I am to Asian girls. He LOVES white girls, so I went in and flirted.
- Smiled - I put Joe Biden’s rebuttle grins to shame.
- Excellent Posture - Think of a bodybuilder posing his chest to some cute chicks. If you’ve got it, fluant it.
- “My Game’s a 10″ - A quote from one of the RSD Coaches, Tim says a lot. Simply put, I put myself out there, was real and chill. I was bulletproof and LOVED it. More tonight baby.
Five Things I Will Improve on Next Time
- Persist - The two girls I was keen on I didn’t persist with. Both were left on highs, but nothing came off it but good feelings. Next time, go for the number regardless of time constraints or stay with them longer. My game’s a 10.
- Have More Fun - I was having a blast, and now I want it to be on turbo. It’s my birthday, Christmas, and New Years on the same day! Next time, I’m bringing that energy with me wherever and laughing it up.
- Cut Threads Quicker - In a few sets, my necklace drew a lot of attention. That’s cool. What wasn’t that it was the only thing we would talk about after. Instead, use everything she’s throwing at me to make the conversation keep going, just like I would anyways.
- Move Girls - I mean bounce, spin, whatever. I had the energy, but it was bouncing off of me and might have been a teeny tiny bit spastic. No one minded or was put off, but it definitely can be used for greater good.
- It’s My Party. My Permission. - I would cut myself off and check on my wing too frequently. At the end of the night, I had flirted with lots of different girls, and made people’s night, but I hadn’t got any numbers or makeouts. My wing though, because he allows himself to do whatever he wants, fucked two girls, and hooked up with another. Next time, I’m using my Super.
スーパー!
漢字： Master the Japanese Writing System in 2 Months
28 September 2008
If you do not understand the writing system of a language, it it impossible for you to read it.
Pure and simple. Context and take you a long way, but it is nowhere near full comprehension. And if it it were the case in other languages, if you’ve ever seen Japanese Television, you can throw “learning through context” out the window.
Simply put, you need to know how to write Japanese in order to be fluent in it.
Once you get your head around that, all the hard work is done.
Remember “Learning Japanese is simple, easy, and fun.”
Through the guidance of the immaculate All Japanese All The Time, I was able to put together a system that allows you to learn about 35 characters a day, remember them, and tear through all of them in the course of 2 months. That’s all it will take you to learn every single character it takes to read and write Japanese for the rest of your life.
What does it take?
Samurai-like dedication?
Hours of writing the characters down mindlessly?
Years of Zen training to achieve the “Japanese Mindset” needed to learn all the kanji?
Looking at countless numbers of pictures of cute Japanese girls in order to learn the Kanji through ESP?
(I know a lot more people would be fluent if the last one was true).
No!
In fact, all it takes is one book, two months, and two hours a day.
Remembering the Kanji: A Complete Course on How Not to Forget the Meaning and Writing of Japanese Characters by James W. Heisig is it.
This is a phenomenal book that allows you to learn every single “impossible” Japanese character through a simple system of association. Instead of the traditional method of writing the Kanji hundreds of times while learning many meanings and readings, Remembering the Kanji teaches you just the parts (or “primitives”) that make up the character, followed a single finite definition. After that, you make a story and will remember it from here on out. As Wikipedia eloquently puts it:
The method differs markedly from traditional rote-memorization techniques practiced in most courses. The course teaches the student to utilize all the constituent parts of a kanji’s written form, and a mnemonic device that Heisig refers to as “imaginative memory”.
Each kanji (and each non-kanji component) is assigned a unique keyword, a simple concept with a specific range of meaning. A kanji’s written form and its keyword are associated by imagining a scene or story connecting the meaning of the given kanji with the meanings of all the elements used to write that kanji.
The method requires the student to invent their own stories to associate the keyword meaning with the written form.
It’s a mouthful, really, but works very simply when you see it in action. Take this kanji for example.
Now, just looking at this, it looks like a monster. It’s 13 odd strokes, looks strikingly similar to 成,城,誠, and 威, but has an entirely different meaning. (For the record, the Kanjis listed mean “turn into,” “castle,” “sincerity,” and “intimidate.”). Further, just by looking at it, there’s no clear way to know how to write it.
But, by using Heisig’s method, you can break down these strokes into a few simple primitives (showing you how to write it) with distinct names and images:
So, the character for “destroy” is actually made up of three simple primitves, that is water, march, and fire. So the next step is to come up with a story (yes, a story) to remember it. Something that’s distinct, exaggerated, and over the top - something that you’ll remember. The one I use for this one is:
Use a water cannon to destroy a line of marching fire monsters.
It’s a pretty strong image right? I tend to remember stuff that’s very violent, very sexual, or very funny - probably because I’m a guy. But most important, you must come up with a story with a strong image that has the meaning implied. If you can associate it with another memory, the better.
With that story, I always will have this images of Godzilla attached to it.
And, in fact, I didn’t come up with this one myself. To make things even easier, there’s a whole site devoted to making and sharing stories found at Reviewing the Kanji. If you’re not especially good at making strong images, or just want to get through your 35 or so a day, you can just check these out and use them! There’s even a way to see the ratings of other stories, copy them with one click, and share your own!
Now, in the course of these two months, you’re bound to forget some of the kanji, that’s just the nature of it. Still, as per suggested by Khatzumoto at AllJapaneseAllTheTime.com, you can throw them into a simple flashcard program, paste the stories in there with the Kanji, and, boom, you can whizz through them.
Anki, the premiere free flashcard program, comes with a sample deck of Remembering the Kanji. Open it up, click the “Edit Facts” button, and copy and paste your story into the deck. Once done reviewing, save it, and go back to it the next day.
In other words…
- Buy Remembering the Kanji
- Join Reviewing the Kanji.
- Write or Copy your own Stories Into Anki
- Review Using Anki’s Spaced Repetition System
- Repeat Steps 3 and 4 until you’ve gone through all the Kanji and get 90%.
That’s it. If you do only 35 Kanji a day, you will be able to get through the entire book in 2 months. If you copy and paste all your stories from Reviewing the Kanji and review right after, this entire process shouldn’t take more than 2 hours a day, which will save you hours down the road.
Again, here’s a list of resources to get you started:
- Heisig’s Remembering the Kanji can be found here on Amazon. If you’re still skeptical, here’s a sample of Remembering the Kanji free from the publisher.
- For all of your story needs, check out Reviewing the Kanji. It’s entirely free, has a large community, and lots of stories that will fit your personal needs.
- Anki is a spaced repetition system (read: flashcard program) that comes with a Remembering the Kanji deck included.
- And for everything else, check out All Japanese All The Time. Khatzumoto goes into much more detail about this process here than I could every write about.
Good luck, and keep studying! There are girls out there dying to meet you!
“It’s Destiny!” - Beliefs That Will Help You Learn Japanese Quickly and Effectively
17 September 2008
Let’s face it.
Your interest in Japan is totally illogical.
It makes no sense. None!
In fact, you’ve probably spent a good amount of time trying to figure out why the hell you like it so much! I mean, you’ve got your shit together. You eat 3 square meals a day, you’re in college or have a steady job, and are fairly content with your life. Even better, you live in a first-world country where your dying problem is trying to figure out how to pickup girls! Really, anything that bothers you at this point is just a quality problem - a good problem to have.
Still, there’s something that feels off. Nothing drastic, but you’re just not happy seeing the same old blonde hair twenty somethings, or the same old thick girls, or just the same old same old American chicks. It doesn’t do it for you.
Never really had, actually.
And as much as you go through your day feeling pretty good, and gaming these chicks, you know you’re not totally happy. There’s something missing, something’s just off. And yet you feel completely at home eating raw fish on rice with mini pool cues. Or watching ultra-violent cartoons. Or just love this:
I’m with you brother. And trust me, there’s plenty of us. We’re destined for Japan. The stars chose us to head over the Pacific and make many, many, many girls happy. It’s fate, baby!
So the next step is playing the cards right. If you want to be where you’re meant to be, you have to speak Japanese. It’s just logical that you can communicate with everyone out there. Further, you have to have you head in the right direction
1. It’s fate that I head to Japan and live over there.
Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. This is your destiny.
There’s nothing wrong with America, or Canada, or wherever you’re from. In fact, it’s really really awesome there. So awesome, that it helped me become the cool guy that you are already. High five!
Still, you just feel compelled to go and live in Japan. There’s just something out there that you have to do, something that you’ve felt your whole life and feel compelled to follow. For me, I’ve known since I can remember that I want to help make television shows in Japan, ever since I was 6.
I’ll go into more of my grounding story later on.
2.I am completely and absolutely comfortable with myself right now and at all times.
You want to learn Japanese, right? Cool.
I’m guessing you probably also want to live in Japan at some point? Cool!
Now, I know for a fact that most of you reading this are not in Japan, but in the US, Canada, or Australia. That’s cool too, but be well aware that moving to Japan, and transitioning into the Japanese society requires flexibility and lots of confidence.
You’ve got to have some balls to be ready for the challenges ahead of you.
You’re probably going to have to change your job.
You’re probably going to have to deal with a hit dent to your wallet.
You’re going to deal with lots of bureaucratic red tape.
And, most importantly, people on both ends will ask you why you’re there. It’s natural, it’s normal, and it’s cool.
Be ready for it. You’ll survive. It’s destiny!
2. I am a cool guy that happens to be interested in Japanese.
This is vital.
From the very beginning, you knew that you were interested in Japanese. It’s a given. But, for whatever reason, you were stuck living where you live now. Eventually, over time, you become a more and more well rounded person and things started to click – you wanted to understand some of the drama or animes you watch, you wanted to order in Japanese, or you just wanted to date more Japanese girls.
Regardless, this little shift to being more interested in Japanese culture was a slight left, not a complete U-Turn in your life. Sure, there are plenty of people who are all “My Japan” and claim to be Japanese, and there are plenty of people who just dip their fingers in the culture, but that’s not you.
You’re a different breed. You can separate yourself from Japan and still survive. You can talk to people about stuff other than Japan, and you can even, God help you, date someone that wasn’t Japanese.
Ah! The shock! I’m sure Tony in your Japanese class is shocked at you. You couldn’t name off all the different festivals that happen in the fall in Japan! You clearly don’t understand the country like he does. You don’t know who wrote the bill that ushered in the Meiji Restoration! Jasmine in your culture exchange group is disgusted! What’s the point of wanting to go to Japan if you don’t know everything about it?!
Of course, when you ask your Japanese friends, Kyoko and Minami about it, they don’t seem to know what all the festivals are or, really, when the Meiji restoration was. In fact, they don’t care about that or too much for Tony or Jasmine. They’re weird, but you’re really cool. It’s nice to have a change of pace form all those オタク。
3. I can learn Japanese right now. I can even think in Japanese!
It really doesn’t matter where you are. Japanese is a language that people all around the world are learning. In fact, all around the world there are thousands of non-Japanese who are fluent in the language. If it was so hard, why are all these people picking it up?
It’s simple. They just do things in Japanese and, if you know a single word in Japanese, then you can think in Japanese. Just like you read on AllJapaneseAllTheTime.com.
In fact, at a lecture some months ago, a friend of mine saw Donald Richie, one of the foremost authorities on Japanese film and culture, who just happens to be a foreigner. He was talking about the radical changes Japanese culture has gone through since he arrived in 1945 as a news reporter. When people talk about learning Japanese, the perspective has entirely changed.
When I first got to Japan, everyone told me that Japanese was incredibly easy. “Don’t worry about it! Kanji are easy, even little kids learn it!” I had my hopes sets on it, and I did quickly learn Japanese.
But now, every Japanese person I meet is amazed. “I can’t believe you can speak Japanese. Isn’t it hard to learn?” I try to tell them that I’ve been fluent for years now, and people don’t believe it at all. It’s a strange thing.
More importantly, you don’t really care about the nay-sayers who don’t want to learn Japanese. What does it matter? Those that do speak Japanese fluently and aren’t Japanese, like Bobby Ologon the kick-boxer, or this guy, sure didn’t worry about “how hard it is…”
4. Learning Japanese is simple, easy, and fun.
“So you go home and study Japanese for hours a day? You’re nuts man!” Your friends say.
“Eh, it’s pretty cool.” You reply, grinning, “I just play old video games in Japanese, watch some TV, and when I see something I want to learn, I just write it down and throw it some computer program. Other than that, I really just chill out and somehow, learn Japanese.”
“Wait, isn’t there like 3000 characters or something? There’s no way that you could learn all those. You have to be Asian to know them!”
“Nah, it’s cinch. I just do a couple a day with a program I got, and then I see them when I reading about last nights Football game – in Japanese.”
“What? You mean you can already read the language?”
“Yeah man. It’s really simple. The characters show what the word means, the squiggles show how it’s used, and the rest just makes sense. You just pick it up as you go.”
“Jesus man. You’re crazy. I’m definitely gonna visit you when you’re in Tokyo.”
“Totally. I’ll definitely be fluent by then.”
5. Being bilingual is a skill I value.
Of course it is.
And as a skill, it takes some time to keep sharp!
That’s why you keep in tune by practicing constantly and consistently.
Of course, this is also something you value because it will bring you over to Japan. You know, that whole destiny thing!
6. I am the fun foreign guy / gaijin.
By the time you finally get over to Japan, your skills in Japanese will be unparalleled. For the first time in years, when you go to a club, you’ll be the first gaijin going to be able to clearly communicate with the bouncers, the promoters, and the go-go dancers there. Trust me, you’re going to be in your prime.
Add to that, the thrill of living over in another city, doing what you love, you know that all that time studying, working towards living in Japan was really, really all worth it.
“But I’m Not Asian” - Limiting Beliefs about Learning Japanese
13 September 2008
Reader’s Note: I can honestly say that I’ve made some massive changes in my Japanese studies, and it has helped me phenomenally. For the next few months, I’ve decided that my posts will be focused on how to learn Japanese rather than game. I’m back in the States and focusing entirely on learning 日本語. Also, since I’ve gathered most of my information from one site, I ask you to check it out. Go to Khatzumoto’s phenomenal All Japanese All The Time and see the single cheapest, and best way, to learn Japanese. Hopefully, I’ll be able to expand on his brilliant ideas, and apply them to learning Japanese for the sake of pick up.
Before I go into the details of expansion of All Japanese All The Time and how it’s helping me, I want to start off with some mental groundwork.
If you ever hope to speak Japanese, you better start off with a solid foundation. We all know that there is a motivating force in our lives to speak Japanese (girls), so now, how do be take the next step and get the ball rolling? First, ask yourself “What beliefs do you have about learning Japanese?”
For most people, learning a new language like Spanish, Italian, or French is a good idea, because those languages are “similar to English” and probably easy to pickup. So, lots of people in high school, college, and in their spare time dabble in Spanish, practice Italian accents, or repeat “Merci” in the mirror. Still, sooner or later they burn out, and let the language slip back into “something I’d like to do.”
When I’m talking to many of my friends and family about learning Japanese, I’m usually met with a bit of shock. “Japanese?! Isn’t that all pictures and stuff?! You’ll never be able to learn that!” is a typical response. I just smile, show off a little, and fry their brains a little bit. Keep in mind, these are the same people who didn’t finish learning an “easy” language themselves.
Of course, some of my good friends are self-taught and bilingual. One taught herself French and teaches it in school, another is teaching himself Arabic. “That’s really cool man. You’ll be there soon enough.” is the usual response I get when I tell them I’m learning Japanese.
So then, what are the beliefs that are holding people back?
When it comes to Japanese especially, we’re dealing with a quagmire of limiting beliefs. Lots of them, come from the media and negative stereotypes of Asians, some of them come from poor ways of learning, and others come from beliefs about themselves. Let’s cover some of the biggies so you can recognize them, and reframe them out of your life.
1. Only Asian people can learn Asian languages. Their brains are hardwired different than ours are, so there’s no way that we can learn the way they do.
Nope. Not at all. Part of the reason Japanese people have an easier time learning Japanese is because their immersed in the language their whole life. If, as a child, you were forced to live in a place that only spoke Japanese, listen to parents that only spoke Japanese, read books only in Japanese, and watch TV only in Japanese, what language do you think you’d speak? What if it wasn’t you, but a Korean kid? A Swedish kid? A Brazillian kid? What would happen then?
The reality is that learning the language opens new ways of thinking, not the other way around. Yes, learning the Kanji and all the different nuances of the language is tricky, but that’s why it’s a completely different language. Imagine you mind to be a massive circuit board, that has millions of switches all connected to each other. Now, with what you’ve learned over your life, from your parents, family, friends, et cetera, those learnings flip certain switches and allow for certain ways of thinking. Now imagine if, from the start, the same circuit board (your brain) was put through life in Japan for 20-something years. It would be different, right?
That brings us to our next limiting belief…
2. I’ve missed my chance to learn a new language. If I had done this when I was a kid, it would have been a lot easier.
Khatzumoto at All Japanese All The Time really rags on this one, as he should. Consider this example from The Zompist at how quickly children learn languages.
Child: Want other one spoon, Daddy.
Father: You mean, you want the other spoon.
Child: Yes, I want other one spoon, please, Daddy.
Father: Can you say “the other spoon”?
Child: Other… one… spoon.
Father: Say “other”.
Child: Other.
Father: “Spoon.”
Child: Spoon.
Father: “Other… spoon.”
Child: Other… spoon. Now give me other one spoon.
This is just the tip of the iceberg. The reality is that children don’t learn languages faster, they just simply are allowed to make mistakes and will happily do so. If you consider how long it takes for a child to go from speaking basic words to speaking at an adult level (about 10-14 years), anyone who can learn a langauge in under that amount of time is … well … superhuman!
Also, compare this belief to a chode who says that “some guys are just born with game.” Change “game” to “the ability to learn languages,” and you can see the similar pitfalls.
3. There’s so much to learn in Japanese, I’ll never be able to learn everything in time.
True, you won’t be able to learn everything in Japanese, but most adult speakers don’t know everything either.In fact, the belief that you have to know “everything” in order to succeed is crippling in any area of life, because, quite simply, you will never be able to know everything. And that’s OK!
In fact, I’ve already learned words that my Japanese friends don’t know. Since I’ve started studying using the All Japanese All The Time method, I’ve learned some technical terms and phrases that I would use for my job that are just jargon I’d with them. Take this conversation I had last night.
Emergency: (Japanese) “Yeah, I’m just glad that I’m not studying something like organic chemistry.”
Japanese Friend: (Japanese) “What? Organ-ic chem-???”
Emergency: (English) “Organic chemistry? That’s the right word, right?”
Japanese Friend: (English) “I’ve never heard of that in my life.”
And remember, she’s been speaking Japanese for 23 years!
4. It’s weird to want to study Japanese. I don’t want to turn out to be one of those creepy Asian-Fetishist kids.
This one may pop-up for a lot of people reading this. As I’ve written in other posts like this one, or this one, or even in this one, this is only a belief that will get between you and what you want in life. If you’re comfortable comprising your happiness, you mental well being, or even your sanity to fit in with other people, go right ahead. I’d also suggest you get married to a fat white chick who can’t cook too just so that you can have all of your misery based covered. Hahaha
Honestly, there’s nothing that’s cooler to a Japanese person that someone who is fluent in their language and doesn’t make a fuss about it. When I was out with a friend of mine in Nagoya (who is Hispanic and amazingly fluent in Japanese), we ran into this cool situation:
Emergency’s Friend: (Japanese) “Hey. Do you know if that bar upstairs is open or not? We’re trying to find a cool place to chill out tonight.”
Japanese girl: *Stares*
Emergency’s Friend: (Japanese) “Hunh, I guess you guys don’t speak Japanese, hunh. I’m sorry about that.”
Japanese girl: (Japanese) “Holy shit. Yeah, we do speak Japanese, I’m just … surprised.”
Emergency’s Friend: (Japanese) “Oh, yeah, there are some of us who speak who aren’t Japanese.”
Japanese Girl: (Japanese) “Yeah…but… holy shit … not like that. I’m Kyoko by the way and this my friend…”
And this was a recurring issue. Since my friend’s Japanese was so good, and he was from somewhere else, his social value shot through the roof. This guy, honestly, has no problem getting girls because of this.
Another example that come to mind was when I was at a Korean Thanksgiving celebration in America last fall. There was a chorus of 12 something Korean exchange students and one white guy who were singing K-Drama pop songs. Everyone was synced up, except for the white guy who kept quiet until the the end of the song, when he busted out in perfect Korean with a perfect baritone voice. The girls in the audience, as well as everyone else, lost their shit, and starting screaming like they were at a boy band concert. Needless to say, that guy was the shit that day.
The point to take home is that committing to something is very cool, while dabbling is not. The idea of being the creepy Asian fetishist guy is closer to someone who has Katanas, posters of Chinese actresses, and tomes of Asian Studies theory books piled in their room but has no Asian friends, no idea how to speak any Asian language, and objectifies every girl with Almond-shaped eyes he sees. You’re the opposite. You’re the cool guy who happens to really like Japanese culture, not the other way around.
5. Japanese is too hard. All Asian people are smart, so they all can learn Chinese, Japanese, or whatever other language easier.
Unfortunately, I’ve actually encountered people who fully believe this. Like, really. Like, they actually are still into the 1942-era eugenics thinking that has put everyone in the world back a couple hundred years and have bogus facts to back it up.
Smart Guy: “Dude, Asian people are smarter because of their genes, man. I mean, look, they came from a different species than us, and they had to go in the snow so their eyes changed. Look, I’m no scientist here, but let me tell you, they just have more muscle in their brain which makes them able to speak Asian Languages. It’s true!”
Emergency: “Where’d you hear that?”
Smart Guy: “I heard it from a friend who read it in a book once.”
The reality is that every single human being has the same brain capacity as every other human, because all of us came from the same part of Africa 100,000 years ago and simply haven’t had enough time to evolve much beyond that. Our differences in skin color, eye shape, and body type are minor and make up for less than .001% of all our our DNA, so little, in fact, that in the course of several generation, these things can entirely change within a small population.
So it doesn’t matter where you’re from, because you have the same equipment as everyone else and the same ability to learn Japanese as anyone else!
6. I don’t have time to learn Japanese!
If you’re reading this blog, you have time to study Japanese. Check out All Japanese All The Time for more information about doing things “all Japanese, all the time.”
The list of limiting beliefs goes on and on. If you encounter any of these, pay attention to them, and start to build evidence against them. If it gets especially hard, the next time you’re running into some trouble learning Japanese, remember this axiom from NLP:
If you always do what you’ve always done, you will always get what you always got.
Or, for our purposes:
If you always think the way you’ve thought before, you will always be able to speak as much Japanese as you did back then.
Next time, we’ll go into some positive thought patterns on what to think when studying Japanese.
Cut The Totem Pole at Its Base
4 September 2008
This is something that’s been bothering me for some time.
And I’m sure when you read this, you’ll see it in yourself too.
Ever since middle school, one of the things I’ve been too worried about is my position on the social totem pole. Back then, I remember being the one that was left out, left behind, and, more so, ran to the newly founded “Web Club” for friends. It was then that I made a choice to consciously improve myself so that I can “climb the totem pole.”
With each oncoming year, I consistently made different changes in my life. 8th grade was making new friends. 9th grade was being more extroverted, 10th was being more talkative, 11th was being a leader, and 12th getting laid. In college, I followed the same steps and pushed myself to improve even more. Freshman year was to get over my fear of talking to strangers, sophomore year was getting over my fear being myself, and junior year was about finding out who I really was.
That willingness to risk it all, to put myself on the line took me to Japan, to Korea, to Hong Kong, and now back to America as a changed man.
Travel forces you to your edge. Even at the most controlled of resorts, you are constantly challenged socially, personally, and mentally. You are put in new strange situations with unfamiliar people. You are forced to expose yourself to a new culture, new traditions, and a new way of life. You have to learn a new language and literally change the way you think.
And there was plenty of times I wanted to return back to the comfort of America. Even though I knew that this improvement would bring me to the next level on the totem pole, and the fear I felt and the suffering I put myself through would be worth it.
Right?
Forget it. You can have your cake and eat it too.
All you have to do is cut down the Totem Pole from inside yourself.
If you’re like me, you love Asian girls and love hooking up with them more. Maybe you just want to hook up with girls in general. That’s cool too. Regardless, caring about where you are socially (or where you are on the social totem pole) only will hold you back. In the worst way, some people will think you’re a weirdo, a fetishist, or even a pervert. You may be totally honest and connected with your passion, but some people, regardless of what you do, will always look down on you.
As long as you’re placing yourself in the totem pole.
What’s so funny about this social stacking thing is that virtually everyone does it, and, in the end, no one benefits from it. When I was in “Web Club,” thinking I was a loser did nothing but bring me down and keep me where I was. I would forever remain asocial, nerdy, and awkward. To this day, some of the same kids I had webclub with are just like that. When I decided to be a class vice president, I switched my thinking and all of a sudden was in that position. I was more charismatic, more outgoing, and more “vice presidential” (unlike Palin). And on the increasingly frequent occasions when I decide to be alpha male, my mind switches gears yet again to something else entirely. My position in the totem pole is totally arbitrary, and totally dependent on one factor - myself.
Best of all, you can cut down the Totem pole at anytime by fully accepting yourself. When you cut out the bullshit, the excessive thinking, and the worries, you cut through the totem pole and open yourself to that hungry alpha male that’s inside. You’re alive and you’re making no apologies for it. As Tim from RSD said it best,
“I do not give a damn of what anyone on Earth (or Jupiter even) thinks of me.”
Give it a shot. The next time your brain says that you can or can’t do something, repeat Tim’s wonderful words to yourself in an authoritative way, visualize the Totem pole falling down in your mind, and be that alpha male you want to be. Know that, only when you’re free from the two fold push to remain being better than others and to climb somewhere better is the same time that you’re dying from social asphyxiation.
Why Learning An Asian Language is Crucial
20 August 2008
We’re about halfway through the Olympic Games in Beijing, and the world is beginning to notice Asia. After the stellar opening ceremonies, the massive changes Beijing went through to get ready for the Olympics, and the sheer amount of compliance it got (through whatever means) is phenomenal. For the first time in the modern age, the world is beginning to accept the idea that Asia will dominate the world.
And, as someone who loves Asian women, this is a wonderful thing.
It’s ironic, almost, that these games came at such a time. As the Euro stands strong, the great American superpower is slowly becomes less dominant, less powerful, and heading on a path to a more moderate living. Gas prices are high, the cost of constantly comfort and instant satisfaction are biting back, and people are now having to make wiser choices for food, for travel, and for work.
Now, as you’re reading this, you are almost certainly interested in Asia. Like me, I’m sure you tell people it’s “the culture,” or “the movies”, or “it’s difference from the West.” That’s cool. People like to hear those things, but really, you like Asian girls. Cheers to that brother! We’re on the same team.
All things considered, now is the best time in the world to start learning an Asian Language. As the world begins to shift from West to East, the economic centers will shift from New York, London, and Paris to Hong Kong, Tokyo, and Seoul. The world will begin watch more Chinese action films, Japanese animation, and Bollywood musicals. Even Snoop Dogg himself is catching the drift.
And even with all this going on (and China with a strong lead to win the most gold in the Olympics) most people will never take any steps to increase their happiness or their personal success. Even within our circle, that of *ahem* “Asian Fetishists”, only a handful will ever even attempt learning an Asian Language. Needless to say, you can simply get more women of higher quality when you speak their language. That’s the power of the smooth foreign guy.
But that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
If you learn a Asian tongue, on top of speaking English, you will be an amazing asset to the Asian business world. As it stands, English has invariably become the international trade language, as well as dominant language of business in America, Europe, and India. You’ll never be without a job, or without connections.
When you have it mastered, not only will the range of jobs you have expand, but the places you can live will expand. Now, instead chasing Asian-American girls (most of which don’t even hit a 6 compared to Asian-born Asian girls), you can live in a place literally 99% Asian women, and other 1% of women are cool with Asian culture. Imagine that!
Most important of all, in spite of all the other perks that come with learning a new language, is that learning a new language forever changes the way you think. In learning the characters, the sounds, the culture, your mind will literally reshape itself and form around these new thoughts in concepts. You will learn more about yourself, more about the world, and truly be able to see another culture through a totally different set of eyes. There is nothing like it.
And there’s also the girls.
My Japan Syndrome
28 July 2008
Since I’ve had some time back from Japan, I would like to share with you one of the most interesting and strangest “disease” that I’ve encountered concerning foreigners in Japan. I’ve spent time talking about this with some friends, both Japanese and non-Japanese, about what I call My Japan Syndrome.
As a foreigner, coming to Japan is one of the most exotic and wild places that one could visit ever. In America, Japan is only known for Godzilla, Sushi, wild game shows, packed subway cars, and anime. Add in a hint of mysticism (Zen Buddhism), a incredibly ADD pop culture, and a booming economy, you have the recipe for one of the most interesting places in world. Hands down.
As such, there is a flourishing tourism industry in Japan, bringing in over 8 million people in 2007. More so, over 1 million of those tourists were from an English-speaking country including about 800,000 from America. (Japan National Tourist Association)
With this huge flow of tourists, you get people from all walks of life - business men, experienced world travelers, wandering old folks, Asian fetishists (like me) - all coming to see the wonder that is Japan.
Everyone wants to see the magnificent Shinto temples in Kamakura, walk in the hectic Shibuya crossing, eat sushi at Tsukiji, party in Roppongi, and top it off by relaxing in a gorgeous Onsen.
And that is fucking awesome!
The best part is, almost every person that comes through Japan, probably about 70%, come with a sense of curiousity and wonder that allows them to fully enjoy everything that Japan has to offer. I can proudly say that all the Japan-based foreign players fall into this category, and stay like this throughout their stay.
But there is another 30% - these are the ridiculous “My Japan” people.
Consider Anime, one of the nerdiest hobbies imaginable, is central to Japanese culture. Although it has become increasingly popular, it is often summed up as
“… a haven for arrested-development pervs who like watching battling robots, tentacle porn, and big-eyed, saccharine magical girls with a tendency to lose their clothes whenever they change costumes.”
On top of that, there is the abundance of obscure cultural references and complicated comedic Japanese wordplay that is incorporated into anime, there is a plethora of knowledge that needs to be consumed to understand it completely. And then, there’s the more-often-than-not hilarious practice of Cosplaying.
As cool as Japan is, it has a nerdy power level of over 9000. Anime, video games, obscure culture, as cool as they are by themselves, are corruptible. Since all readily available and easily consumed from the comfort of your home, all over the internet, and requires no friends to enjoy, they become, like all things nerdy, fragmented, obsessed upon, and wholly annoying.
So what happens?
Most of these nerds / otaku /etc take Japanese culture to the extreme. They’ve read the wikipedia article, it’s suggested reading, Japan-Guide, and every gaijin-run site there is (include this one you’re reading). They accumulate this knowledge, talk about it in My Japan forums, and actually, honest to God, try to become Japanese. And when they blog, they talk about My Visit to Japan or just My Japan.
When you’re in Japan you’ll encounter these people, and if you’re having fun, they’re the opposite of it. If you’re invited to a Yukata party, and wearing a traditional Japanese dress, they’re going to come up to you and tell you how much you disrespect Japanese culture. If you’re talking to Japanese people you don’t know, they stare at you for “breaking social code” and being rude. Worst of all, you have a hardtime with chopsticks, they’re going to lecture you.
At Japanese language schools, My Japan kids are everywhere. They imagine they’re Naruto, they are incredibly condescending about your grammatical mistakes, and just piss all over every little thing you do.
The funny thing is, my Japan people never talk to Japanese people. They’ll never “break the peace” of their sacred Japan by interrupting a Japanese person’s busy and important life, or even attempt their Japanese skills. If they come out of their rooms and socialize at all, they stick in cliques of all other My Japan people, and fart around Japan, mentally masturbating about Japanese culture and “what’s so different about it.”
At the end of their trip to Japan, they’ve met maybe 5 other foreigners, can say “I would like a beer” in Japanese, and visited several maid cafe’s. That’s it.
Why should you care?
If you’re studying abroad, going on a vacation, or intending to work in Japan, it is my highest suggestion to avoid these people, or, if you’re in the process of becoming one, stop. Japan is one of the most interesting places in the world, with one of the coolest cultures, the nicest people, and the hottest girls. It also has some of the most interesting cartoons, games, and other junk, but the most fun is found with the people that live there.
If you want the most from your experience, branch out, meet other happy, fun loving foriegners who are genuinely curious about Japan, and meet locals. Pick up the girls and go wild with them. Do cultural stuff, get involved, and don’t let these naysayers stop you. Too many people get caught up in this My Japan trap that would otherwise be incredible, awesome, and fucking cool people to hang out with.
And if this hasn’t convinced you, watch this and it will.
